The Big Scary Pigeon Ordeal
by LittleRoma
Summary: What happens if Harry and Hermione were really frightened of something?


Hi there! This idea just came to me and I had to write it out, anyway hope you enjoy and feel free to review!

Roma

Harry got a sudden urgent call at work, his wife Hermione was having a breakdown, screaming and crying on the phone, she was practically hysterical and to be frank it was unnerving Harry a bit. Hermione was pregnant by four months, they had told all the family, but had something bad happened? He hurried through the rest of the working day, he loved being a Head Auror, he didn't have to go out on dangerous missions as much anymore. Only downside was the paper work. But he could still remember when Hermione told him that if he was stupid enough to die on a mission she would resurrect him and then painfully and slowly kill him. Only an idiot got on Hermione's bad side. He still didn't think that Ron had ever recovered fully when he stupidly said that a woman's period pains were nothing compared to a kick in his little general's area. Hermione had rather painfully delivered a good roundhouse kick to his downstairs area and went back to drinking her tea like nothing had happened.

-o-x-o-

He nervously went home at five past six, apparating directly into the bedroom. Nothing seemed wrong in the house but maybe that was just him, maybe it was some female problem. He nervously made his way over to the bathroom and knocked:

"Down here, you idiot" he heard hissed from the floor direction, he bent down and noticed Hermione laying underneath the bed with just a foot hanging out, he got down and crawled in after her

"What on earth is wrong?" he whispered noticing Hermione's mobile phone sitting beside her but strangely no books.

"Well, you see I was doing a bit of painting with the window open, it was a warm day you know, it was so calm and lovely. But a bird flew in, a pigeon which completely startled me. It started cooing I guess at me angrily, so I legged it out of there as fast as I could. I came in here and dived under the bed"

Harry raised his eyebrows, thinking of all the crazy adventures they had in school, flying on dragons, freeing murderers and playing gigantic chess sets and duelling with crazed death eaters, how could she have done all that and yet be frightened of some poor innocent bird? Deciding that the hormones could be making her a little crazy, he gently said

"Okay, and how long have you been laying under here?"

"About five hours give or take" Hermione muttered sheepishly, rubbing her fingers across each other.

"Okay, I'll have a look, stay here hang on"

Harry shimmied himself out from under the bed, he slipped over to the bedroom door hearing a whispered "I love you" coming from the bed, rolling his eyes he prepared to go out and get rid of the bird.

-x-o-x-

All was silent in the bedroom for forty minutes, during which time Hermione was wondering where her husband had got to, she was beginning to contemplate coming out, when she heard thundering footsteps, three pairs to be exact. She didn't have time to do anything when suddenly Draco Malfoy's head appeared next to her.

"Fuzzy" he nodded "how come you could do all that crazy stuff in school and yet you couldn't do this?"

"Ferret, its a bird alright they're scary. And what do you mean, you lived with The-One-With-Too-Many-Names and Bellatrix for a year? Surely, you're brave to some extent"

"I was a Slytherin, I would sell my own granny if it benefited me"

Hermione simply scoffed at him, "what does that have to do with anything?" Draco simply shrugged at her "Nothing, just thought I should bring up that little piece of information"

Hermione just laughed, Draco might act like the alpha dog but he really wasn't. Astoria ruled their house in reality.

-o-x-o-

Hermione kept thinking of what they could possibly do to get rid of the bird that was so annoying. She lay under the bed wondering what she was going to do, until suddenly Charlie Weasley threw himself under the bed. She looked at him, wondering what he was doing there-

"Harry, Hermione, Malfoy, 'lo, so I uh tried to get rid of the ah bird out there"

Malfoy raised his eyebrow, didn't Charlie Weasley work on a Dragon Reserve? Surely there he faced death quite regularly, or at the very least severe burns from the birthing mothers at the very least. There was no help for them now.

"Char-bear what happened?"

Charlie shifted his weight awkwardly

"Harry, don't call me that, it's weird for goodness' sake. The bird, I don't it was a Big Scary Pigeon, just cooed at me all angry and I'm sorry but I couldn't get rid of it"

Draco nodded and opened his mouth to say "I'm going to ring Stori soon, she doesn't know where I am, Mum and Father were over visiting"

-x-o-x-

After planing their summer vacation, they heard a few thumps coming from outside, they all eyed each warily. Slowly crawling out from underneath the bed and nodding at each other, they held their wands in front of them in a protective stance. Harry reached for the bedroom door and pulled it open, wondering what could have gotten rid of the BSP for them. He opened the door to see Draco's wife Stori standing there. She was closing the window and turned round when she heard the door opening "There you are, you know that was a lovely pigeon, hope you don't mind but I let it out"

The Four who had been hiding underneath the bed all glanced at each other, silently begging whatever gods were out there that this would never get out of this room, the three guys all had a 'reputation' to protect, it would never do for news of this Bird to get out!

Draco squared his shoulders "Well, I'm off to do something manly, like build a house or beat someone up" he 'manly' said.

Charlie just looked at him "I'm going back to Shell Cottage, I have to get back to work, I miss my dragons" he ran out the door, not realising that he could simply use the Floo system to get back.

Harry started to hyperventilate "Excuse me while I go chop down a tree, yeah a tree"

Hermione rolled her eyes knowing that they would never be allowed to live down the BSP, but she was going to get started on dinner in the mean time.


End file.
